Since young, I was a quiet and not-very-nice-looking girl. Maybe a girl that seems to bullied very easily. My childhood can say to be not a very happy one. In school, I was the quiet one sitting alone playing and eating. I remembered that I was very not going well with the classmates. Then this incident struck me, which made me the class enemy. I became friend with a girl in the class, whom wasn't like by the rest of the class. In turn, the class hated me much and more unexpected was that the girl became friend with the rest of the class and hate me as well.

Maybe from that time onwards, I have this shadow in me that friends are not very trusting. Until primary school, I met some awesome friends that made me open my heart to friends again. Soon, I was a cheerful and out-going girl, having fun with my friends and teachers. Until secondary school, I was sooner faced with the same problem and met with the same incident.

Secondary school maybe was a torture for me, while others seem to enjoy that the most. Being alone from my primary school to the new area, I was back to the quiet girl. Beginning, i met with some and became good friends. But is not very ever-lasting. In the end, I was the one suffering. A friend of mine backstabbed me and caused many trouble for me. In the years in seconday, I remembered crying under my bedsheet daily. Until I took the results, I felt that I've gotten released.

This made me have the fear again. The fear of over-trusting my friends. The fear of friendship. It also made to know that I should not show my weakness to others. So, I became one that everyday looks cheerful and crazy but hidden everything to oneself. Hahax. Sometime, it is just so hard and tiring to do so daily, to act happy daily.

So, I have been that for 4 years. Long right?.Maybe. JC was quite enjoyful for me, but not all as well. Especially during Project Work and some other times not to be mention.

So, now after spilling everything out, maybe, hope that I can really let everything go.