那一个才是真正的我？我已经不知道了。

活在别人的期待下，活在别人的笑容，活在别人的需要下，我已经不知道真正的我喜欢什么，我要什么。也不知道什么开始我变成了这样，不知道什么时候我发现自己变得不像自己。

伤口可以愈合，但伤疤永远都不会消失。

我的努力不知道多少的人懂，不知道多少人明白。为什么我就是不可以期望其他人能够付出与我相同的努力？就算付出了全部的我， 为什么一样还是被忽略，一样被遗忘，一样被他人批评？

I hate planning events, events like birthday surprises,class outings, clique outings etc...Everytime asking people to reply was a torture process. Planning was worse. Asking for suggestions were the worst of all. I always got the fear of people disliking the activities I planned or think of and will complain behind my back. Because something similar happened to me before and it had caused great fear in me.

I remembered myself laughing like mad when on the way home from barrage on saturday with Zhiting at the front. I had no idea at that time whether I was laughing or laughing to cover my tears. I really feel like crying at that time for some reason I also don't know.

Yeah, finally got our 'major clique' outing though some still cant make it for the picnic. Was at barrage this time. Weather was exceptionally good, no rain. Kites can fly and we have no worries on the weather and the wet weather program. But the birthday surprise was considered a failure cos the candles and firestick cant light successfully. Was tiring but fun. Was extremely warm but was nice also... :)

School is tough. Even tutorials are bad...i mean the worksheets. Last time is duno how to do half of the question, now, is half of the worksheets. Next will be the whole tutorial...OMG~~~

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any random post here...

所见的未必是事实，所听的也未必是所希望的...

人与人之间，为什么要存在着谎言，欺骗与背叛？

Morning I cant find my braces de rubber bands. Next took a super long time to put those small bands on. Next I left house late today. Then I missed two buses at the same time, in the end, ended up walking to CCK MRT. Next I missed another train.

Then morning got test on Calculus. Totally knocked down by the test. The first time I'll be failing a MATHS Test. OMGGG!!!!.....Then, my phone case spoilt.

Then, when returning home after school, I gt 'squashed' by the MRT door and missed the train. Xiaoqi managed to squeeze into the train while I gt to wait for another one...The door is not any joke.Is so scary~

Bad day today.

开始在想很多事情，也领悟到了很多的事物。

其中就是：＂美丽的东西只属于摆设和在远处欣赏而已，但它永远都不属于自己的＂

That's what I've been telling myself almost daily in the mirror. Things that are nice and beautiful are often for display or to admire only, but the never truly belong to me. So just stay one side and admire the beauty behind and let it go after admiring, just like walking in the museum.

People like me, can only dream of having things that are beautiful, but never really have a hand of those things in reality. That's maybe one reason why I like to daydream where you can 'have' the things I want in my dreamland.

This two weeks is gonna be a hard time for me in studying...before the one week of recess week...

Jiayou! :)

Haha. That's our group cheer. Hahaz. Went for WSC FOC de orientation camp. I was inside this group called Incredibles. Yea..Jack-jack. Our group was so pathetic, only got 6 freshies in the beginning, the halfway three left, leaving three. And I was so surprised that I was the youngest inside my group. Wah~...cos I was always usually the few of the oldest in my clique.

We played many weird games like "the MRT game", the "catch mice" game, "concentration" game, the "frog" game...Hahaz...NICE~

Our GLs were cute and humorous. Had much fun yesterday playing though had done much working around Sentosa. Then after the amazing race in the afternoon, got some night trail along Imbiah Trail where I was like a blind walking through due to my night blindness. But lucky everyone was very kind and good to me in leading me through the dark and black trail. Was really fun the whole day yesterday. Yeah..... :)

Nw got to mug already. Tests and Quizzes are coming out this few weeks. OMG~!

Maybe this will be my FIRST TIME FAILING MATHS in my whole life.

DIE~

Recently I read a chinese novel called 寻找前世之旅.

This book mainly focus on the point 前生之因，后世之果的宿命.

The things that is done by you or done to you will still follow you in your future life no matter how many times you are reborn. This made me wonder what my past life was like and also make me think after this life what's my next life gonna to be. Is death really frightening? Many of these questions usually pop out form my brain when I can't sleep. Being dead, where will you go to then? What happen to things and people that you are used to be? Suddenly, will have the fear of death, fear of leaving things and people you used to be with, the fear and unease to where you will be at after death...hell or heaven?

This book was quite an unique book for me cos really seldom these kind of books do exists which some may think is a fantasy book. But, the book also holds the truth of the world we are living now.

Leeteuk showed his cuteness during the concert.

Heechul showed his 'beauty' in the show, and got the most screams from his fans cos he'd left for army.

Eunhyuk showed his charm with his dance steps and rapping skills.

Yesung showed his power in his singing.

ShinDong showed his chubby-ness and gag.

Siwon showed his good-looking and his wonderful and perfect abs.

Sungmin showed his cuteness.

Donghae showed his nice-looking and swift dance skills.

Ryeowook showed his passion in singing.

KYUHYUN showed his good skills in singing and his mischievous side.

EVERYTHING was so so so nice!!! :)

I like to daydream, daydream a lot. Have very not-reality fantasy thoughts. Just like a typical.

Recently was watching this show, which they every session will bring you to explore yourself in different aspects such as in love etc, which i think is so true. Using tarot cards and horoscope to tell you you.

So cool~ Got to study tomorrow~ Sianz~